


Wait, What?!

by If_OnlyICould



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depression, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Panic, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad Lance (Voltron), Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Worried Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 15:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/If_OnlyICould/pseuds/If_OnlyICould
Summary: No longer wanting to live, but too scared to die.





	Wait, What?!

.:*Lance POV*:.

Ugh.

What was he doing, how could someone be so lazy? Lance was sitting in the corner of the sofa in the small room he was staying in. He was currently in the garrison trying to process the last few years of his life. Now that all the war was over he had nothing to keep his mind distracted from. 

Distracted from the mental pain. 

Falling out of his daze, he raised his hand to his face, turning it whilst looking with a face of disgust. Ugly nails. Ugly, bitten nails. He just couldn't resist biting them, it was as if they had their own gravitation but would only pull his mouth towards then when he was anxious.  

Well, he was anxious all the time. Lance knew that everyone thought he was  _disgusting, annoying, bothersome, a mista-_

A loud knock echoed though his room before he could start letting tears escape from his dull eyes.

"Lance? You in there?" It sounded like Hunk

"Are you awake yet? It is almost lunch time, you must be starving." Hunk lengthened 'starving' out to poke the words through Lance's  _thick_ skull.

"Oh, yeah, sorry bud. I'll be out in a bit, and you are quite right, I am starving so I will definatly change quicker." As Lance said this he felt guilt burn in his stomach for lying. He really wasn't starving, for he felt as if he were to consume any food he would thow it back up and that would not be a beautiful sight.

"Okay! I will see you in the kitchen in a bit then!" Hunk shouted with a sing-song voice as he walked further and further away from Lance's room.

Lance let out a loud sigh as he realised that he said he will be quick to get changed, linking to getting out of his room faster too. 

He quickly chucked on his normal white and blue shirt and long jeans before heading towards his door.

_Shit._

He almost forgot his favourite jacket which his father had bought for him a few weeks before he found Blue. His jewel. The one thing that made his broken soul feel better. The soothing purrs she sent into his brain- Oh! Hunk!

Before rushing out the door, Lance looked into his mirror. Damn. His eye bags were extremely noticeable but that didn't matter, he could blame it on something believable. He ran his fingers through his brunette hair to get rid of knots and made his way out the door. 

The hallways were so quiet, only muffled voices from voices in a room further down. Actually, it felt nice alone. He could cause no one trouble then, or could he? What if someone needed help with something and he was just slacking off. Wait. No. Nobody would want his help, after all he was useless. It would help if he would disappeared I mean, he only messed things up any way.

.:/ _Flashback\:._

_"LANCE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! AND YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL US!?" Pidge's voice was filled with a murderous edge._

_He looked around panicked._

_Oh God! What did he just do!_

_"I-I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry. I just thought-" Lance was shaking a lot when a hard slap was gifted to his cheek._

_"LANCE! WE JUST PLANNED THIS OUT AND YOU 'just thought'" She mimicked his voice."DON'T even.. start" She started sobbing out of fear of what could of just happened. Lance held his cheek whilst looking at the floor in shame._

_What had happened was that Lance had ran out in front of everyone, already battling the galra leaving the others no back up as many other galra attacked from the side._

_"I-" Lance had no words, nor tears that could escape._

_"Hey Pidge, it is okay. We are all still here so everything is going to be just fine." It was Shiro's reassuring voice. "Although, Lance, that was not acceptable, were you even listening when we were planning this out? Yeah, don't answer that." His voice turned stern._

_.:/End of Flashback\:._

 

Once Lance came back to reality he realised his throat had tightened. That is normal though right, for it to occur so often and make one feel as if he can't breathe... everyday? Or was it just him. Lance who needed to be cared for because he could never care for anyone else because he  _sucked._

"Oh! Lance, your food is ready, I thought you had fell back to sleep or something so I came back to get you." Hunk was so pure and Lance loved him for that, he hoped that they would always be friends.

"I just kind of fell into a daze, sorry about that" He gave Hunk an apologetic smile.

"Let's go then!" Hunk wore a big grin as he threw his fist in the air with enthusiasm.

The two started making their way to the dining room chatting along happily, well mostly. Hunk rushed ahead to get the food on a plate so it would be ready for when Lance reached the room. 

"Lance, is this okay? Not too little? We have to go shopping to get more food since we haven't got much, uh, excluding the space goo." Hunk clicked his toungue.

"Oh no, this fine fine thank you." Lance gave an approving smile. Though the meal was not big at all, it still intimidated Lance so he poked at it, taking small mouthfuls.

_Huh?_

It tasted bland? 

"By the way Lance, the food should have more flavour since I added more spices 'n stuff, kay?" No way, this must... it must just be a... a joke! 

He gave a small nod as a reply to Hunk.

He took another mouthfull.

"You don't look like you are enjoying that Lance." Oh god. It was Pidge. Ever since that incident, Pidge had been acting harshly towards Lance. 

"N-no! It- uh, It tastes great!" He took a large mouthful, straining a smile. He looked up at Pidge and swallowed to prove his point. "See, great!" 

"Don't look at me with that face, you look terrible, like look at those eyebags! What have you been doing?" She was starting to give off a harmfull tone.

"I-I.. I j-just had tr-trouble sleep last night!" Lance exclaimed, rushing the last few words in his scentence.

Pidge huffed. "By the way,  _Lance_ ," She spat his name as if it were dirt. "You didn't seem to enjoy that mouthful." He felt it  get harder and and harder to breath, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Hey, Pidge, it is okay if he doesn't like it.." Hunk said in an understanding tone.

Suddenly, Shiro and Allura came speeding into the room. Hunk and pidge spun their heads towards the advance approach whilst Lance looked downwards at the table trying to regain his breath.

"KEITH IS *huff* COMING BACK!!!" Shiro and Allurance shouted in harmony.

That was the last staw, the tears that were burning Lance's eyes finally released, landing on the table below him. How could someone be that sensitive, no,  _pathetic._

"Fuck." Lance mumbled and went to wipes his tears before someone realised.

Woops. Too late.

"Oh SHIT! Lance are you okay!?" It was Shiro who realised. Why did he have to say that aloud?

"Uh.... y-yeah.. I am fine!" Lance said back still wiping his tears. Dammit, he can't breathe.

"No Lance, you are not" Shiro replied about to make his way towards the  ~~attention seeking~~ crying boy.

He didn't want the others to see his weak like that.... so he got up and said "Give me a sec, I am fine honestly." Before fast walking out the room, still facing downwards to avoid eye contact.

As soon as he took the closest turn, Lance starting sprinting towards his room.

 

 

 

This was not going well at all. How can something esculate that quickly?

 

 

 

It was almost as he were a feather, closing the door then swaying towards his bed. *gasp* Where was it? No. No. No, no. Why him? His legs gave way, collapsing just before his bed and he blacked out.

.:*Keith's POV*:.

Currently, Keith was sitting in the back of Matt's (Pidge's brother's) car. He was slightly drifting into sleep when Matt spoke up.

"So, Keith, what have you been doing with the blade?"

"Eh, nothing much. We were just setting up a base since the only one we had previously was in space." Keith replied, watching the passing trees.

"Oh, that's nice." Matt spoke.

"Mhm." Silence again.

"Do you miss space..?" Matt asked quietly.

"Yeah.. Hah. I was going to say it was more peaceful but it wasn't really with all that war going on." Keith sighed "Although, it still felt more peaceful."

"I can see where you are coming from." Matt smiled. Keith smiled back before continuing to look out of the window. Ever since their battle ended, the animals had seem to be hiding away. Many animals must of died. No more rabbits were to be seen playing around on the grass.

 _Ah, I should call Shiro and inform him that I am coming back._ Keith thought.

He held his fists tight on his trousers with a nevous/excited feeling. Pidge, the one he could always joke and laugh with because they liked being locked away in their own rooms. Keith never could understand Pidge when it came to technology though, only a few basics. Hunk, his food so delicious a Nobel would even give it a 10/10. What a innocent guy he was though. Didn't deserve to go through all that torcher.

Well, no one did. 

Allura, despite her commanding and stern ways of speaking she really was a kind princess. Definatly not as fragile as she looks. Coran. Ahhh... Coran. What a man. He was the space uncle that you could always talk to, to cheer you up. Shiro, the one that took him in and showed Keith what it was like to face the harsh reality of life and how to beat it.

Lance...... Hmm.

The forever ending road was quiet, making the only sound available was the friction of the wheels on the road. 

It ended eventually though. 

.:*Shiro's POV*:.  
He didn't want to intrude Lance exactly, however, he did need to make sure he was okay. Why did he start breaking down? In reality, did he just have sometging in his eye? No... surely not. He walked up to Hunk who was leaning on a counter, tapping his foot anxiously. 

"Hunk, what happened before I walked into the room?" Shiro asked.

"Well.... Pidge started at him again..."

**Author's Note:**

> I have been writing this on my phone so progress has been even slower oof. Welp, I hope you are enjoying this so far and if you wish, leave constructive criticism, thanks :D
> 
> Also, have a good day/evening :)


End file.
